Clear the Fuzz
Have you ever rotated a bottle in the medicine cabinet because a guest is coming over? Or positioned a particular book to be more visible on the shelf? Or steered a conversation away from a potentially embarrassing topic? I have. Because I wanted to curate another’s experience of me. Because a part of me believed I somehow wasn’t enough as-is.
We are constantly designing our set and stage lighting to spotlight what we want to be seen.
And there’s nothing wrong with this. We can’t help but show select parts of ourselves; humans are way too complex to reveal all the layers all the time - even to ourselves. And personal expression is part of the joy of being alive.
But many of our editorial efforts unnecessarily add to the complexity. Life gets all gunked up when we are judging ourselves through [our warped perceptions of] another’s eyes. It adds to the chaos, the fuzz of an already massive and murky fuzz cloud. (Though who doesn’t like a giant ball of dryer lint?)
What if instead we turned that spotlight ever-so-gently toward the stuff we habitually hide?
I will go first.
My coping strategy of choice is food. When I don’t want to feel discomfort, I eat. In excess. Until my bellyache is louder than my emotions.
The thing is, I only do this alone. Arriving to my friend’s doorstep with two triple berry muffins, a cheesecake brownie, and a box of Cheerios? Meh. The drug feels like a dud.
The hiding is what makes it potent, and also layered with shame. For me. And that layer of shame feels like a fuzzy screen between me and the rest of the world. (And when we go too long without clearing the lint trap on the clothes dryer, it might start a fire and burn the whole place down.)
So why share my sugar binge moments with a trusted friend? Because it forces me to poke through that screen. Whether or not I sit in front of her plowing through my sugar stash does not matter. What matters is allowing my struggle to be seen.
It’s as if showing more of myself to another clears away the fuzz.
How about you? Soon we will post a #MOBPLAY experiment so you can play with it.
As for today… you can Clear the Fuzz in a totally different way!
Check out this week’s new MOBcast episode.
